Regret

This post is personal, kind of dark, and not about Jonathan. Apologies in advance.

A girl I knew in high school died.

I didn't know her terribly well, but we were friendly. We didn't hang out outside of school, but we'd sit together at lunch every once in a while. We signed each other's yearbooks in the style of "Hey chica! I hope we have some classes together next year. Have a great summer!"

A casual friendship, never really reaching below the surface.

Christina was the smartest girl in our class, bar none, and probably the smartest person I have ever met. She was equally amazing at literature, history, math and science. She was a fantastic violinist. She was thin and athletic. She had a cute smile and a great attitude.

I truly admired her, but in sort of a distant way. Maybe on some level I was intimidated. Maybe I was lazy - happy with the close group of friends that I had. Maybe I thought since she was a little quiet and shy, it was too much trouble and effort to get to know her better.

Now that this amazing person is gone, I am filled with regret.

To be a proper tribute, this post should be about her incredible accomplishments, her giving nature, her impact on others, the inspirational passion and skill she had developed over recent years for mountain climbing, but honestly, that feels inauthentic coming from me. Because it is only now, after her death, that I am finding out what a rich and inspiring life she led.

I regret that I didn't have this person in my life and now it's too late.

And I regret that the world will never see what Christina could have done if she had only had more time.